Main Photo: Willis Testifying for the Summer Willis Act in Austin, Texas in March 2025

It was a morning like many others, except one thing was different. A class of middle school students sat quietly for a special presentation.

A new law had just passed. Erin’s Law, first enacted in Illinois in 2011 and named after survivor and advocate Erin Merryn, requires public schools to teach personal body safety. As of today, it has been enacted in 38 states, including Virginia. 

A few boys in the back shifted in their seats as the speaker explained that some parts of the body are private, that no one should touch them without permission and that it’s always OK to tell a trusted adult.

Most of the class sat quietly, but nine boys looked physically uncomfortable. When the bell rang, most students filed out for their next class. The nine boys stayed behind.

That was the moment everything changed.

Once the conversation about body safety had been opened, those boys found the words to say something they had been carrying alone. They told adults that the school’s principal of more than 20 years had been assaulting them.

True stories like this, shared by advocates, are exactly why experts say body safety education cannot wait until the teenage years. Children often understand more than adults assume. Experts at Empowerhouse, a domestic violence support center in Spotsylvania County, note that “children are aware of abuse occurring in their homes,” which is why education and open conversations early on are so important.

Over the past three years, I’ve traveled across the United States, first as an endurance athlete running 29 marathons the year I turned 29 years old as part of my own healing journey, and now as an activist and founder of the Summer Willis Foundation, a nonprofit focused on changing the conversation around sexual violence.

 Willis Wears Denim at London Marathon in April 2023

Along the way, my foundation has hosted talking circles across the country in living rooms and community spaces, bringing people together to discuss how we can shed the shame surrounding sexual abuse and create a safer future for the next generation.

But among all my titles, athlete, advocate and speaker, the one that has surprised me the most is mom. 

It carries weight. It carries responsibility. 

I have two little boys, ages 3 and 4. Because of my own experience with sexual assault, I know how important it is to begin these conversations early, even though they are conversations I never imagined having as a parent.

 The Willis Family

Like many parents, I’ve wrestled with questions like, “How do we teach children about safety without making them afraid?” But when it comes to big topics like this, the best place to begin is often with something small.

Here are a few simple ways to start these conversations with your kids at home:

1. Teach kids their voice matters
When my boys were just a year old, we started saying two short, powerful phrases that they now love shouting back at me:

“No means NO!”
“Stop means STOP!”

It may sound simple, even silly, but it’s a powerful foundation. They’re learning that if someone says no to a hug, a tickle or roughhousing, we stop immediately. Consent, in our home, isn’t a heavy concept. It’s part of everyday play.

2. Use clear language
We use proper names for body parts and explain that some parts of our bodies are private. We have a “no secrets” rule in our family. Surprises are OK, but secrets about our bodies or safety are not.

Elizabeth McNally, executive director of Safe Harbor Child Advocacy Center in Fredericksburg, notes that parents can normalize talking about bodies and boundaries, use correct anatomical terms, and establish a ‘no secrets about touch’ rule.

“Children are more likely to disclose abuse when caregivers create environments that emphasize safety, openness, and belief,” she says. 

3. Keep the conversation calm and age-appropriate
Keep explanations age-appropriate and calm. Children don’t need frightening details. What they need to know is that their bodies belong to them, their voice matters and adults will listen if they speak up. 

In other words, conversations about personal safety are about helping kids embrace empowerment, not create fear. 

“If a parent or caregiver is worried that a child may have experienced abuse they should stay calm and listen. Let the child talk in their own words, and avoid asking them leading or detailed questions,” says McNally. “Parents or caregivers should tell the child they did the right thing by talking and make it clear that the situation is not their fault.”

4. Courage isn’t the absence of fear
My children have watched me train for races, crawl across finish lines and keep going when things felt impossible. But they’ve also heard me say, “I’m nervous” or “This is really hard.”

Courage isn’t about pretending fear doesn’t exist. It’s about naming that fear instead of hiding from it, and choosing to keep going anyway.

Maybe that’s the real heart of these conversations we never expected to have as parents. We don’t need to frighten our children to prepare them. We can give them something better: language, confidence and the knowledge that their voice matters. 

When we teach kids that their bodies belong to them, that “no means no” and “stop means stop,” we’re not just teaching safety. We’re teaching them self-respect, courage and how to stand up for themselves in a complicated world. 

And those may be some of the most important lessons we ever pass on.

“Often, the first step towards a child’s healing is for them to experience the relief of having someone hear, understand, and believe them,” says McNally.

Families also should know they don’t have to navigate these conversations alone. Local organizations such as Circle of Parents, Empowerhouse, Rappahannock Area Community Services Board, Rappahannock CASA and Safe Harbor Child Advocacy Center offer support, education and advocacy for families and children across the Fredericksburg region. Families also can reach out to the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline for confidential support and guidance 24/7, or call Virginia’s child abuse and neglect hotline at 1-800-552-7096.

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