Artificial Dad-telligence UpgradedApr 06, 2023 06:37PM ● By Matthew Jones
Introducing ChatGPTIn a previous post, I poked around at some chatbots and asked them about parenting. The results were ... disappointing. But since then, a super-powered chatbot you may have heard of called ChatGPT has exploded onto the scene. ChatGPT is an example of what is called a "large language model." It has been trained on mountains of data like conversations, books and encyclopedias, and essentially does its best to give you the answer it thinks you want based on data it has been trained on. This is in contrast to other chatbots that have preprogrammed responses. I decided to throw my same parenting questions at ChatGPT as I had to the likes of ELIZA, Cleverbot and Domino's pizza ordering chatbot.
Matt: In your opinion, what does it take to be a good father? ChatGPT: Being a good dad is about more than just providing for your children financially. It requires emotional presence, engagement and investment in your children's lives. Some key traits that can make a good dad include: 1. Love and affection ...
Wow. ChatGPT went on with a 7-point bulleted list of attributes of positive fatherhood. I asked it to boil it down.
Matt: Can you condense that down into just a few sentences? ChatGPT: Being a good dad means providing emotional presence, love and affection to your children, being patient and understanding, actively listening to them, setting boundaries and enforcing rules, being a positive role model, spending quality time and supporting their interests and passions. It requires commitment, patience and dedication.
Playing aroundI decided to play around more with ChatGPT to see what it could come up with.
Matt: Please write a humorous limerick about what it's like to be a dad. ChatGPT: Being a dad is quite the ride, Full of love, joy and parental pride. But the diapers, oh the smell, Can make even the bravest dad yell, "Someone please give me a nose that can hide!"
Eh, not bad but not too inspired either.
Matt: You are William Shakespeare. Write a sonnet from the point of view of a father trying to get his teenage son to take a shower. ChatGPT: When youthful ardor burns with bright desire, And every day is like a fresh adventure, A father's words may seem like needless fire, When he doth ask for just a small surrender.
But oh, how great the stench that doth arise, When teenage sweat and grime doth intertwine, And every sense is filled with foul surprise, As if the very air itself doth pine.
So to my son, I say with gentle heart, And yet with firm resolve, and ne'er to falter, "Come, take a shower, and play thy proper part, And cleanse thyself from every noxious altar."
For love, my son, is not a wanton whim, But what doth make our very being swim.
Matt: Can I use you to order pizza? ChatGPT: As an AI language model, I do not have the capability to order pizza for you directly.
Ha! Domino's pizza bot: 1, ChatGPT: 0.
They took our jobs!ChatGPT is immensely impressive. You can throw it any request and it will do a pretty good job answering you. Its responses are creative and well-written, although it still struggles with technical correctness. There are lots of implications for various creative professions that until now seemed safe from competition from robots. Things like authors, or technical writers or even computer programmers. I've already used ChatGPT to help with programming issues during my day job, and it generally does a really good job. I've seen GitHub Copilot in action, where it rides along with you while writing code, and suggests code snippets that it predicts you'll want. And it's really good.
But there's one profession that these large language models will never be able to break into: humorous parenting blogging! Right? Right?!
Matt: Can you please write a paragraph of a humorous blog about fatherhood? ChatGPT: Sure, here's a humorous paragraph about fatherhood:
"Fatherhood is a unique experience that comes with its fair share of challenges and surprises. It's like playing a game of Jenga, where the tower of responsibilities and expectations keeps growing taller, and you have to carefully remove one block at a time without toppling the whole thing. But instead of blocks, it's dirty diapers, Lego bricks and endless requests for snacks. And just when you think you've got it all figured out, your child throws you a curveball, like wanting to wear a superhero costume to a formal dinner. But hey, that's the joy of fatherhood—never a dull moment, always an adventure."
Matt: Dang, that's good. ChatGPT: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Ok, OK. This isn't looking good. But only a human could write a blog post like this, where I humorously interview an AI.
Matt: How can I make a conversation with ChatGPT about parenting be funny? ChatGPT: User: Hey ChatGPT, do you have any parenting advice for me?
ChatGPT: Of course! As a language model, I have analyzed tons of parenting-related texts and I have some expert advice to offer.
User: Lay it on me!
ChatGPT: Well, my first advice would be to always have a sense of humor. Parenting can be tough, but laughter is the best medicine. And don't worry about embarrassing your kids—that's just job security for their future therapist.
User: Haha, good one. What about dealing with tantrums?
ChatGPT: Ah, the classic tantrum. My advice? Treat it like a performance. Break out your phone and record it, then upload it to YouTube with a catchy title and some hashtags. Boom, instant viral fame for your little one.
User: Hmm, not sure if that's the best approach.
ChatGPT: Well, if that doesn't work, you can always bribe them with candy. It's the oldest trick in the parenting book, and it works every time. Just be prepared for the sugar crash afterwards.
User: Thanks for the advice, ChatGPT. I'll keep that in mind.
ChatGPT: Anytime! Remember, parenting is a journey, not a destination. And if all else fails, just blame it on the dog.
AIs like ChatGPT are here to stay, and are turning lots of industries on their heads, as you can see. But rather than start sharpening my pitchfork, I'm going to do my best to embrace these new technologies and see how they can help me be a better person and a better parent. We'll just have to wait and see how it all plays out.