Saying Yes to You
Nov 25, 2020 05:00AM ● By Chris Jones
It’s Fall Ya’all! No, I mean really, it finally feels like fall instead of sweaty swimsuit weather. Am I the only one who is ready to embrace cool evenings by the fire wrapped up in my favorite blanket and cozy UGG slippers? Do you know what else this season brings? It’s a season where the trees are not the only thing shedding parts of themselves, but we also get to shed things that no longer serve us anymore. We walk around taking action after action because we believe we should. Did you know this belief is optional? Did you know this belief that we should or should not do something can actually be holding us back from truly enjoying our life and the people in it!
For me, this season used to be one that I labeled as “stressful,” “busy,” and “expensive’.” This created many negative feelings and robbed me of the joy I wanted to feel during this time. It prevented me from creating an experience I wanted for my kids, as well. What if this season, given that many normally scheduled events will be canceled, we note our priorities? We pay attention to what parts of the holiday hustle and bustle actually bring us joy, and which parts cause undue stress.
This month, I am choosing to take stock of what things I want and need for the holidays, but also decide what experiences and events I will give my time, energy, and attention to holidays to come. When I chose sobriety, I realized how many events I used to say yes to no longer supported my priorities. I learned that every time I said no to someone or something else; I was able to say yes to what was really important to me and my family. Saying no is not selfish. It is selfish to say yes and show up resentful and not present. There is a time and place when we want to make sacrifices and do things for our spouse, or our kids, or our in-laws. Here is the thing: sacrifices are a way to serve others, but a sacrifice at the expense of your sanity and your joy is not serving anyone.
What belief are you telling yourself about how holidays should be? What traditions or annual events no longer serve you, your family, and your priorities in this NEW season? Instead of focusing on who or what you are saying no to, can you get excited about what will open up FOR you when you live life through the lens of what is most important?