As more of my friends’ children turn 18, it got me thinking about how much more money management training I still need to impart on my 17-year-old before he’s ready to be on his own. Naturally, as an older teen, my son is quick to remind us how much more he knows than his father and me. This brings me to the subject of money intelligence at 18.
Since my son turned 17, we’ve had some eye-opening situations that have cost us and him money. Instances like confirming and/or canceling appointments, endorsing checks for deposit and, a biggie to me, maybe not to him—knowing when to ask for help.
What we as parents might find mundane, teens ostensibly struggle to complete because these tasks have always been done for them. Set the ball rolling now to set them up for success.
It’s not all about them: If they have a dentist appointment that was scheduled six months ago, they need to keep it even if it disrupts other plans. If they cannot make a haircut appointment they scheduled, they need to call and cancel it. If they don’t have toothpaste or deodorant, they need to buy it and not assume the pharmacy of mom and dad has it at the ready. Dropping appointments or needing to buy things not on sale can cost them.
Give them a budget and have them go food shopping: You will be shocked at what they buy—three packages of cookies, two bags of potato chips, a carton of ice cream and a case of Monster energy drinks. On the next shopping trip, I gave him a list and some cash and told him to keep the change. Amazingly, he bought what was on the list and even saved money since he did some price comparison shopping! Keeping the change was absolutely a motivator, but still.
How to write and deposit a check: Although it seems that most financial transactions these days are digital, it would behoove your teen to know how to write and deposit a good ol’ fashioned check. Even in the age of depositing checks automatically, they still need to know how (and where) to sign the back with their signature to ensure their money gets into their checking account.
When life knocks them down: If they have a fender bender, get fired from a job, or don’t have enough money to cover dinner, these are all lessons best learned under the safety umbrella of mom and dad rather than as a newly minted adult. Most important is that they realize, no matter how many times they get knocked down, they need to get up and try again.
Know when to ask for help: Despite mom and dad’s best efforts, things will go sideways. Even though they think they know it all, they don’t. Letting your teen know it’s okay to ask for help is a critical life skill that will serve them well. More than likely, they won’t thank you until they are a mature adult—likely at 28.
All that said, parents and caregivers, even though their birth certificate says they are adults, your 18-year-old might feel ready to take on the world. But the truth is that many are still learning the emotional and financial skills that come with independence, and they will likely still need you, even if they don’t always say it out loud.
