Instinctually, moms tend to take care of the kids, the home and their spouse all before themselves. Do you find yourself burning the candle at both ends, too?
When I made my New Year’s resolution this year, it centered around taking time for self-love and -care. We’ve all heard it, if momma isn’t happy then nobody is. So I decided to make my happiness a priority. I’m making sure I am focusing on my well-being before saying yes to my children’s next activity or committing my time to volunteer outside the home.
Even if money is tight, consider adding a line item in your family’s budget just for your wellness.
Your self-care can be anything from grabbing the corner booth at your favorite café to a yoga retreat to forgetting your daily woes at the movies using MoviePass (only $9.95 a month to watch as many movies as you wish at the theater).
Even if money is tight, consider adding a line item in your family’s budget just for your wellness. You don’t have to break the bank but take some time for yourself and treat yourself to a little something new or spend the $40 on a wine and paint night out with your girlfriends. These are worthy investments if they help you feel good about yourself and reconnected with others. Being a stay-at-home mom is isolating at times, so finding activities that energize me helps to maintain my sanity.
I realized I had to make some changes from within if my goal was to raise happy, healthy, well-rounded children,. Here is how I am investing in myself, and how you can do the same:
Be Intentional – What makes you happy? If you can earnestly do it without feeling stressed, then keep it part of your daily or monthly activity. If it makes you feel resentful, get rid of it. For me, it was dropping an activity downtown so I could eat dinner with my family instead of fighting Route 3 traffic.
Set Boundaries – Does looking at your overscheduled calendar give you hives or fulfillment? Perhaps when all is said and done you feel accomplished, but at what cost? A stressed-out momma isn’t worth anything to her children or family. So drop the façade and politely send your regrets. Nowadays I get excited when plans fall through and I get an unexpected quiet evening at home.
Protect Yourself – Just because everyone expects you to do it all doesn’t mean you have to be the one to do it. Give yourself permission to ask for help and delegate responsibilities. It’s OK to put yourself first and allow for your own happiness before others. There isn’t enough time in this lifetime to keep people who invalidate your self-worth. By keeping my friends circle small, I am able to focus on friendships that really matter.
These actions may upset others and may not be the popular choice, but if you can look in the mirror and love the person you see, then your investment in self is paying off.
I now have a clearer vision of my self-worth and greater teachable moments with my children. As important as it is to take time for my own self-love and -care, it is equally important to my family’s values to show our children their worth in self-sacrifice and giving of self. These acts go hand-in-hand in raising giving children and top my parenting goals in 2018.
