Addiction is a family disease.
That’s a reality that Ashley Jaderborg has learned through
his own journey with opioid addiction, and throughout his nearly-4.5-year
recovery. It’s a truth he carries with him as he helps individuals through his
work as a Peer Recovery Specialist with the Rappahannock Area Community
Services Board.
“It’s a family disease,” he says, “because even though, yes,
I was the person that was using the substances, it affected everybody around
me.”
While there are signs of hope in recent statistics
concerning opioid addiction, drug overdose remains the leading cause of death
for Americans aged 18-44, per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. According
to the Virginia Department of Health, 1,403 Virginians died from drug overdose
in 2024. While that number is a 43% decrease from 2023, it still represents an
unnecessary loss of life. And the impact of fentanyl is unquestionable. Data
from 2023 (the most recent year for which complete numbers are available) show
that nearly 80% of the 2,463 drug overdose deaths recorded that year involved
fentanyl, fentanyl analogs and tramadol.
For an individual trying to cope with stresses in life,
opioids and fentanyl deliver a euphoria that momentarily removes all worry—with
life-altering consequences.
“The drug gives you a little bit of happiness…but eventually
takes everything else that you love away from you,” said Jaderborg, who lost
his first marriage, his job and his home to his addiction. Through treatment
delivered through the Rappahannock Regional Adult Recovery Court, Jaderborg has
been able to walk the path of recovery for nearly half a decade, working during
that time to rebuild bridges with those impacted by his substance use.
But just as addiction impacts an entire family, parents,
caregivers and other family members have enormous power to help teens choose
healthier coping options.
Jaderborg urges parents to keep in mind how much they teach
their children through their own actions. The simple act of turning to
substances—a drink, a pill, a vape—to cope with the stress of a tough day sends
a message.
“Young people see that, and they think that’s the way to go
about coping with things, by having a drink or popping a pill,” he said. “They
see it as being acceptable to do these things, because if their parents are
doing them—the people we’re supposed to look up to as kids—then it gets
ingrained at a young age.”
As the father of a 14-year-old, Jaderborg is well aware that
many kids begin experimenting with vaping, alcohol and other potentially
harmful substances in the middle-school years.
For parents of pre-teens, it pays to be informed. Jaderborg
recommends RACSB training offerings such as the Hidden in Plain Sight program,
an occasional offering in partnership with the Spotsylvania County Sheriff’s
Office that helps parents learn about ways teens commonly hide illicit
substances and drug paraphernalia in common household items.
Being aware of who your teen is spending time with, and
what’s being discussed within his or her text messages, is another important
line of defense.
But along with that vigilance, Jaderborg stresses the
importance of maintaining an open line of communication, so that teens and
adolescents feel that they can talk about behaviors they are seeing among their
peers, rather than hiding out of fear of punishment. That dialog should also
include regular conversation about feelings—the root of the coping need that
may drive an individual to substances in the first place.
He points out that home is a unique place for lessons about
the dangers of substances like alcohol, cannabis and opioids to be delivered
because, unlike in the school setting, kids at home may be less likely to have
that defensive wall up to try to look “cool” in front of their peers.
“The real conversations need to happen at home,” he said.
Key to the success of those conversations are the same
ingredients Jaderborg works hard to infuse into his work as a Peer Recovery
Specialist: empathy and compassion.
That means taking a minute to cope with your own fears and
frustrations before starting to talk. It means listening before lecturing. It
means prioritizing connection over scare tactics.
RACSB offers a number of
prevention-focused resources to help parents recognize and respond to the signs
of substance misuse among teens and children. Learn more and get information
about upcoming community trainings at https://rappahannockareacsb.org/prevention/
Resources for parents
–
One Pill Can Kill www.onepillcankillva.org
–
Curb the Crisis www.curbthecrisis.com
–
Operation Parent https://www.operationparent.org/
–
Parents Empowered https://parentsempowered.org/
–
Al-Anon
and Nar-Anon Family Groups can provide a supportive network for individuals who
are worried about loved ones with an alcohol or narcotics addiction.
What to Look For—Signs Your
Child May be Struggling with Substance Misuse
Behavioral
–
Sudden changes in friend groups or spending more
time with new, unfamiliar peers.
–
Loss of interest in activities they once
enjoyed.
–
Declining grades, skipping school, unexplained
absences.
–
Increased secrecy, lying or withdrawing from
family.
–
Changes in money habits—asking for money more
often, stealing or items going missing from the home.
Physical
–
Unexplained drowsiness, frequent nodding off or
unusual bursts of energy.
–
Pinpoint or unusually small pupils.
–
Frequent flu-like symptoms, such as nausea,
vomiting, sweating or a runny nose.
–
Weight loss, changes in appetite, poor personal
hygiene.
–
Strange smells on clothing, breath or
belongings.
Emotional
–
Sudden mood swings, irritability, hostility.
–
Increased anxiety, depression or paranoia.
–
Loss of motivation or apathy toward the future.
Environmental
–
Finding pill bottles, powders, vaping devices or
other unexplained items among their belongings.
–
Burn marks on spoons, missing foil, rolled-up
dollar bills.
–
Frequent locked doors, late nights out or
unexplained whereabouts.
