ASK MOM: Screaming toddler demands phone in restaurants
Nov 07, 2025 01:26AM ● By Mary Follin and Erika Guerrero
Drawing by Suzanne Johnson
THE PROBLEM: My toddler absolutely melts down in restaurants unless she has my phone. We’ve tried coloring, books, snacks—you name it—but nothing keeps her quiet and calm like a kid movie. I know too much screen time isn’t great, yet I also want to enjoy a meal without constant stress and glares from other diners. I feel torn between doing what’s “right” for her development and what’s “realistic” for my sanity. Is it really that bad to let her watch something while we eat? Or am I setting us both up for problems down the road
MARY SAYS: Using a screen as a babysitter takes Herculean strength to resist, but it might be worth giving it a try.
Back when portable screens were a mere novelty, children—even toddlers—interacted with adults and siblings: at dinner tables, in restaurants, in everyday life. People skills take years to learn, and the social anxiety many of today’s young adults identify with may simply be a lack of practice.
Why not use the early, formative years to challenge toddlers (and parents!) to engage in real life experiences? How else will our kids learn to tune in to another’s emotions, meaning, and body language? Imagine who you would be if every childhood moment had played out like a Saturday morning cartoon.
Something to think about. And parents, if you’re braving a restaurant with a toddler and you're keeping your phone in your pocket, great! But please be understanding when other parents don't. Raising kids is hard enough without other people’s judgments thrown in.
ASK MOM offers parents two perspectives on today’s child-rearing issues—one from a mom with grown children (Mary), the other from a mom raising a small child (Erika). If you’re looking for creative solutions, or your mom isn’t around to ask, drop in!
If you have a question for Mary and Erika, we’d love to hear from you! [email protected]
Read more ASK MOM advice.
Mary Follin is the author of Teach Your Child to Read and ETHYR, winner of the Moonbeam Children's Book Award and the Gertrude Warner Book Award. She is mom to two grown sons and enjoys sharing her more seasoned perspective with parents of younger children.
Erika Guerrero is a freelance hair and makeup artist, Erika K. Beauty, and mama to one amazing boy and a darling daughter.
Suzanne Johnson, mother of five children and grandmother of eight, is an illustrator, book cover designer, and author of the Realms of Edenocht series.