THE PROBLEM: There’s a mom in our playgroup who is always bragging about her kid. I mean, her kid is adorable (she’s 3), but she’s not all that! For whatever reason, whenever someone is sharing a story about their own kid, this mom jumps in to try and one-up it with her daughter. It’s getting on all of our nerves, and we don’t know quite what to do about it.

MARY SAYS: Ah, the “braggy mom”—we’ve all met her! It’s tough when one person dominates conversations with endless stories about their little one, even if they don’t mean to monopolize the airtime. Often, this kind of behavior stems from insecurity or a need for validation rather than believing one’s own child is ‘all that.’ 

Still, it can be frustrating when it feels like no one else can get a word in. 

Try this. Acknowledge her comments while gently redirecting the conversation. For instance, if someone shares a story and she chimes in to one-up it, you might say, “Wow, your daughter sounds amazing!” and then circle back to the original person’s story: “Anyway, you were saying about how your son learned his colors?” 

See if she doesn’t take the hint after a few rounds.

Another idea is to set a group tone that encourages time for everybody to share. You could say something like, “Let’s go around and each share something on our minds.” This makes it clear that everyone’s voice matters; it will also help limit braggy mom’s impulse to blurt out her own story.

If her behavior continues to be a strain, it may be worth having a kind, private conversation. You could frame it in a positive way: “I can see how proud you are of your daughter—it’s really sweet. I’ve noticed, though, that it can feel like others don’t get a chance to share their stories. Maybe we could try to be more mindful about taking turns?”

Ultimately, it’s important to approach her with compassion while gently reinforcing boundaries. Difficult conversations are hard to initiate, but this mom is not doing her child any favors. Your ability to intervene—and be kind—will go a long way for both of them.

ASK MOM offers parents two perspectives on today’s child-rearing issues—one from a mom with grown children (Mary), the other from a mom raising a small child (Erika). If you’re looking for creative solutions, or your mom isn’t around to ask, drop in! 

If you have a question for Mary and Erika, we’d love to hear from you! [email protected]

Read more ASK MOM advice.

 

Mary Follin is the author of Teach Your Child to Read™ and ETHYR, winner of the Moonbeam Children's Book Award and the Gertrude Warner Book Award. She is mom to two grown sons and enjoys sharing her more seasoned perspective  with parents of younger children. 

Erika Guerrero is a freelance hair and makeup artist, Erika K. Beauty, and mama to one amazing boy and a darling daughter.

 

 

Suzanne Johnson, mother of five children and grandmother of eight, is an illustrator, book cover designer, and author of the Realms of Edenocht series.