Naturally, women tend to care for their children, house and spouse before doing for themselves. If you find yourself doing this, you may be burning the candle at both ends.

My New Year’s Resolution this year centers on taking time for my self-love and care. We’ve all heard it, if momma isn’t happy then nobody is. I took a much-needed, hard look in the mirror and decided to make my happiness a priority. In 2024, I am focusing on my well-being before saying yes to shuttling my children to their next activity or volunteering outside the home.

Even if money is tight, consider adding a line item in your family’s budget for your own wellness. You don’t have to break the bank but take some time for yourself and treat yourself to a little something new. Investing in self will help you feel better about yourself and stay connected with others. For me, being a stay-at-home mom is isolating at times, so finding activities that energize me helps to maintain my sanity.

Your self-care can be anything from grabbing the corner booth with a favorite treat to giving yourself permission to sit quietly for 30 minutes to read, knit or pray. Downtown Fredericksburg also offers a lot of free activities that you can take advantage of solo or with friends. I’ve most recently enjoyed First Friday with friends or a quiet stroll on the Canal Trail.

Making changes from within is really the only way my New Year’s Resolution will become reality. Here is how I am investing in myself, and how you can do the same:

Be Intentional – What makes you happy? If you can earnestly do it without feeling stressed, then keep it as a part of your daily or monthly activity. If it makes you feel resentful, get rid of it. For me, it was dropping an activity downtown so I could eat dinner with my family instead of fighting Route 3 traffic.

Set Boundaries – Does looking at your overscheduled calendar give you hives or fulfillment? Perhaps when all is said and done you feel accomplished, but at what cost? A stressed-out momma isn’t worth anything to her children or family. So drop the façade and politely send your regrets. Nowadays I get excited when plans fall through and I get an unexpected quiet evening at home.

Protect Yourself – Just because everyone expects you to do it all doesn’t mean you have to be the one to do it. Give yourself permission to ask for help and delegate responsibilities. It’s OK to put yourself first and allow for your own happiness before others. There isn’t enough time in this lifetime to maintain relationships with people who invalidate your self-worth. By keeping my friends circle small, I am able to focus on friendships that really matter.

These actions may upset others and may not be the popular choice, but if you can look in the mirror and love the person you see, then your investment in self is paying off.